I remember it like it was yesterday. My boss and I were on a site visit, meeting with a community partner, when I made a truly questionable choice. At the time, I was 27 or 28, brand new to leadership, and still figuring out how to carry myself professionally. As we sat down in the conference room to discuss business, I pulled a 1980s superhero lunchbox out of my briefcase and—without a second thought—started eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and some sliced pears. Right there. In the middle of the meeting.
Full disclosure: Anyone who knows me knows I love to snack—and I snack unapologetically everywhere I go. But looking back, this probably wasn't the right time or place. My casual snack choice simply didn't align with the formal tone of the meeting. Beyond just poor judgment, I also overlooked how it looked for me, a young Black man, alongside my boss, also a Black man, to appear less than professional in a serious setting. It was a significant miscalculation—one that could have damaged my career if my manager hadn’t stepped in with timely, thoughtful feedback.
Luckily, I had a manager who genuinely cared enough to give me clear, honest feedback. Other managers might have avoided the conversation, worried about my reaction or their own discomfort—especially around race. But not him. He didn’t allow the awkwardness of the situation to prevent him from giving me the feedback I needed to hear, in the way I needed to hear it. He even taught me how to own my mistake in that moment in a way that I could leverage later. Most importantly, he didn’t just tell me what I did wrong, he helped me figure out what to do differently next time.
When I think back on that moment, what sticks with me isn't the exact words my manager used. It's the experience of receiving feedback that was clear, direct, and actionable. I can't recall precisely what he said, but I vividly remember how it made me feel: supported and empowered, rather than embarrassed or discouraged. That feedback had an immediate impact, significantly boosting my situational awareness as a young leader. My manager even demonstrated trust in my growth by quickly giving me new opportunities to apply what I'd learned, as if to say, you’ve got this. That’s the power of great feedback: it continues producing results the more you put it into practice.
Ready to take your feedback practice to the next level? Register for our session on how to give great feedback and join the waitlist for the upcoming release of BremAITM as you look to grow your skills as a manager.
